non-linear

It's pouring rain as I write this...

The rain comes in waves. Thick, heavy sheets of side-ways moving rain, then drip drip drizzle, then back to heavy downpours, then back to drizzles. Back and forth like that, until it stops.

The rain knows very few things in life are linear. 

Like learning, for example. And growth. And healing.

That's been a big lesson for me lately. Healing. Isn't. Linear.

I had surgery 2 weeks ago and haven't shut up about it. I'm not ready to shut up about it either, because I'm still healing. My incisions are healing, but my mind is still trying to find comfort. Every day I wake up with a new pain in my body, AND a new scab that's healed. It's possible to be fixed in one place, and broken in another.

I wanted to make a video for you guys this week, but I'm not as physically comfortable as I'd like to be, so I'm going to wait. I keep thinking I'm better, and then something else starts hurting. 
It's frustrating and challenging and makes me REALLY appreciate when my body was pain-free.

It's not linear.

Very few things are.

You can mourn a loss long after you've made peace with it.
You can revisit the basics of a pose long after you've achieved it.
You can love someone long after they broke your heart.
You can gain and lose and gain and lose and gain weight again, long after you've lost it.

Knowing how to re-start is a superpower. Even that isn't linear. Some days you'll forget how to re-start. Other days you'll re-start 8 times before you even leave your house.

Take some of the pressure off yourself and know that you're exactly where you're meant to be RIGHT now. You will move forward, and you will move backward, and you will be stagnant, and none of that will be permanent.

You're doing a great job.

Om Shanti, Om Peace
Cortni